Dick Whittington

Fifteen-minute rhyming pantomime.

Available from the author.

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Dick arrives in London but not with a cat – he has a rabbit called Oscar. How will Dick and Oscar outwit the evil King Rat?

Script extract:

King Rat: Who are you, you silly man?

Escape in safety, while you can!

Dick: You've had your chips, to coin a phrase.

I'm going to end your salad days!

King Rat: Do not provoke my righteous wrath.

Too many cooks will spoil the broth.

Dick: I shall scare your rats away

As effectively as an apple a day.

King Rat: Run! While still you have your legs!

Dick: Don't teach your grandma to suck eggs!

King Rat: Spare yourself some vicious knocks!

You're not the sharpest knife in the box.

Dick: The fat's in the fire. Off you will fly.

You'll be eating humble pie.

King Rat: Who are you, boy? What is your name?

Dick: Dick.

King Rat: You're one sandwich short of a picnic.

Dick: You're in a pickle. You ought to flee.

You rats are not my cup of tea.

King Rat: Hard cheese. You are alone, forsaken.

Take your chance to save your bacon.

Dick: Enough of all these verbal japes.

This is a case of sour grapes.

Here's your chance to flee, so grab it,

Or I shall let loose on you – my rabbit.